Making my mark

Hey

Just saying hey that’s all

Also

I hate cole slaw. I won’t eat it no way no how and I think that anyone who does eat it is a disgusting pile of cat dicks. Cabbage and mayonnaise? Really? Uh-uh no sir. I’d rather swallow a handful of hair that I found in a garbage can at a Puddle of Mudd concert. I don’t mess around with the slaw and it’s not just because of the taste. It’s so much more than that. It’s the texture. It’s the visual presentation. It’s everything slaw stands for. I oppose its entire belief system. And why the fuck is it called cole slaw and how does that even sound remotely appetizing? I’d rather eat something called a gorilla titty and jizz screamsicle than something called “cole slaw.” I mean…fuck.

Random fact

The doorway leading to my bedroom is beaded. That’s right. I have a beaded doorway and I don’t give a shit what you think about it. Yea, maybe I’m thirteen at heart. Suck it.

And that is my God given right of interior design. Nobody can strip that from me. Not Obama. Not Julia Roberts. Not the devil himself (Sean Penn).

Because the fact is simple, I’m a true believer that the founding fathers wanted us to have beaded doorway decorations and I’ll be covered in shit and rolled in goose feathers if I’m gonna sit here and let you piss all over my forefathers.

April fools

I deleted my twitter yesterday and everyone thinks its a joke:(